These Boots Were Made for Walking... Not Stealing

Well, I've had an interesting week... but before I get into that, I thought I'd share something darling Burro posted. It made me lol, which is a good thing considering the mood work constantly puts me in. Clicky here

So. I remember a couple of posts back venting my undying hatred of these two guys who came in, complaining their asses off, then when we hooked them up they left 3 cents on the table. Very cute. Anyway, I must have done something downright diabolical to deserve such evil Karma. So it was near the end of my shift, and as soon as I wrapped up my three tables from this last dinner rush I would be off the floor. Unfortunately, one of these tables was those two bastards AGAIN. Why? What did I do?!! So I decided I was just going to take care of them, but not linger and chat or anything. They took forever to decide what they wanted, which was stupid cause one of them always gets a sampler with cheesy fries instead of onion rings... and he got the same damn thing after reading the menu for like 15 minutes! So get their order in, take out their food, pretty much ignore them except for the one time I had to fill up their glasses. I give them the check, and they want it split. So, I do it, I just want out of there! Well I was busy when they went up to the register, so one of the other girls cashed them out. I see them leave, and the girl walks up to me and I'm like 'Thank god their gone! They are such assholes. I'll bet they didn't even leave a tip huh?' And she asks me if I split their check. I was like 'yeah.' ...'Wait, why?' Turns out one of those fuckers walked out without paying his bill! I'm just so angry, I'm like 'oh hell no, they can get their asses back in here and pay that! I'm not going to!'
One of the other ladies I work with ((she's a bit older but VERY feisty)) storms out into the parking lot with me and between the two of us we scour all the cars in the parking lot, looking to see if they were just sitting in a car. Turns out their not. They left. I know cause I searched everywhere!
So I go back into the resteraunt and find my boss and tell her those guys walked out on one of their tickets. A customer who overheard me talking to my boss is like 'I know those guys, I even have their phone number.' So my boss writes down their names, then proceeds to call the police. Cause guess what? Walking out on your ticket IS stealing food! God people can be so stupid about that sometimes ><
Anyway, like five minutes later these guys walk back into the resteraunt and are all like haha, you thought we walked on our ticket, I was just out smoking, you walked right by me, blah blah. Of course me and my boss aren't buying it, cause me and rita had run out in the parking lot and looked EVERYWHERE. You were not just outside smoking dumbass, I wasn't born yesterday. But he paid for his food, so I didn't really care. He then comes over to me and is all like haha, good one, here's a tip. Two dollars. Well, its more than I've ever gotten out of him, but what pissed me off even more is that when he paid for his food, he had a huge wad of hundreds that he pulled from his pocket. So its not that he can't afford to eat out and tip. He's just a cheap asshole.
Go figure.
But if I ever have to wait on that guy again, I'll probably stab him right in his eye with a spoon for harrassing me.